When I first learnt how to be better at dating, I thought that there were some secret tricks that make people want to date them.
I became consumed with learning this techniques and tactics so I too could become an amazing dating expert.
I remember the day so vividly when that illusion was shattered.
It was also a moment I vowed never to duplicate.
I was due to be filmed with 3 others dating experts to prove we could meet and attract anyone we wanted.
A journalist from FHM magazine was going to record our progress as evidence of our success…or our failure.
3 of the greatest dating coaches in the world had come together and I was lucky enough to tag along (because I had secured the article in FHM. I had a career in PR back in the day.)
So we’re all sitting around and waiting.
And I’m star struck staring at these dating experts.
And we get discussing the amazing powers they have.
When they get talking about the one “fake” skill dating coaches pretend to have.
The ability to get someone’s contact details and secure a date…. while they’re on a date with someone else.
For some dumb reason this was the “holy grail” of dating.
This wasn’t the me of today…. this was back in 2005, I was still naive to women, relationships and what it means to be attractive.
So like the others present I too believed this to be the most amazing skill imaginable.
I was shocked to hear that it was fake.
Even more shocked to hear that my heroes at the time were unable to do it.
Something overcame me in that moment.
It was like my heart started pounding.
Am not proud of what I did.
But I saw a couple…
Obviously on a date …
And I knew I had to test this.
I couldn’t NOT test it.
I needed to know if it was possible.
So I walked up.
(Moments like this are what define you as a person. Will you accept the status of things as they are? Or will you test… test to see if you can BE the difference)
So I approached.
I got chatting to the guy…. then I got chatting to the girl.
She was laughing, giggling, and at first so was he.
But then he started getting awkward, more withdrawn.
He retreated from the situation taking 3 steps back.
And I HATE that I did this.
But I got her contact details, and secured a coffee date… just the two of us.
(I’ve now vowed never to do this to anyone ever again. Mostly because I realized that there was every chance that a guy like that could have been a friend of mine, or a client, and ultimately it’s poor taste; poor manners, but again…. I didn’t know better then.)
I came back to the 3 guys and their mouths had hit the floor.
I had just achieved what all of them had said moments earlier was impossible.
1 walked away then and there. I’ve never spoken to him since.
I don’t know what happened to him.
He just walked away.
The other 2 were in shock, and refused to be in the article.
They said they’d never seen that before in real life.
Personally I was more upset than any of them:
My heroes were fakes.
The article ended up being almost entirely about me.
It was an entire 5 page spread in FHM magazine:
And from then on, I went on to be known as the number 1 dating coach in the world.
Since then I’ve applied my skills to business and marketing.
I’ve found experts in the marketing world that I look up to.
I’ve also found fakes.
I’ve gotten better at spotting them over the years.
I’m going to be shaking things up a little from this page.
Over the next few weeks you’ll see me helping business owners and those who want to be business owners in ways that haven’t been done before.
And I’ll start by telling you the one big thing most business owners aren’t doing.
You’re not daring to be the best.
I went from lowest skilled in the realm of dating…to highest skilled.
Simply because I dared to do the impossible.
There’s no shame in failing to do the impossible, because no-one expects you to succeed.
But when you do…..the world changes.
Are you daring to be the biggest in your field?
Because you need to be. Otherwise, you’re just fighting for second place.