Have you ever met someone really interesting online, only to have them vanish on you with no explanation? Today we’re not only going to explain why this can happen, we’re going to give you some advanced psychology tricks to help stop it happening to you again!
So let’s go ahead and face it. It’s the bane of every hopeful Tinder user’s existence. The thorn in your side when you FINALLY get a phone number from that sexy stranger. And over half of men and women have committed this egregious dating sin…or been on the receiving end of it.
We are of course…talking about ghosting.
By now you already know what ghosting is and how it’s managed to piss off the internet as a whole – and if you haven’t been clued in, let’s get you up to speed. Ghosting is what it sounds like: talking with another person online and then suddenly disappearing. No more responding to texts. The other person is left talking to the empty void of the internet, wondering what happened.
Beyond the obvious emotional damage, ghosting has some unexpected consequences. What many people don’t realize is that this kind of social rejection causes actual, physical pain. So when your friend gets ghosted and tells you it was like they were being punched in the gut or slapped in the face…they aren’t far off from the truth.
Your brain interprets ghosting the same way it would a kick in the shin. It hates it. But if it’s so horrible, why do people keep doing it? And how can you stop it happening to you?
There are 4 Critical Factors that Cause Ghosting, and if you can learn to solve them…you not only won’t have to worry about ghosting again, you’ll also be a much sexier date!
GHOST FACTOR #1: Procrastination
Sometimes it’s just easier for the other person to put off responding to the text. Whether they’re swamped at work or not that interested, procrastination can make even the simplest task feel like a immovable burden. But this is rarely the ONLY problem. If you run into Factor #1…then it’s probably caused by…
GHOST FACTOR #2: Lack of emotional connection.
Simply put, there isn’t enough emotional reward from talking with the other party. Our brains are wired to PREFER doing things if we can get a quick payoff from them.
That’s why gambling, video games, and drugs can be so addictive. Does that mean you need to start lacing your texts with illegal drugs and colorful blinking lights? No.
There’s an easier way to fix that, which we’ll cover in just a minute.
GHOST FACTOR #3: Ignorance & Bliss
They just don’t know how it feels. They’ve never experienced it before so it seems like it might be gentler compared to flat out rejection.
GHOST FACTOR #4: It’s Easy
This is the worst reason of all, but accounts for most of ghosting. Pure and simple – rather than going through the potential emotional turmoil of rejecting someone, ghosting just takes less effort. Stop replying and eventually the problem goes away on its own.
But don’t lose hope…because as we mentioned before, there’s a way outta this here mess.
Now there is no PERFECT cure. Ghosting can’t be stopped entirely, but you can cut down on a lot of the crap by using these advanced psychology tricks:
1) Face time! Talk in person or over the phone as often as possible. It’s FAR easier to get their heart racing and their minds alight when you meet and talk in person. For most people, texting can be a chore – it’s a boring obligation and more than that, it’s easy to ignore.
Get them to agree to a call or a quick meetup and watch your dating success SOAR.
2) When messaging, make it EASY to reply. Any message that doesn’t directly prompt a response (like ‘hey’, or, ‘I saw this great movie last night.’) requires more brainpower to respond to than one that ends in a question of some kind. So always end by ask them something to prompt a response!
3) Become a priority in their mind. In this age of easy distraction, there’s only 1 way to keep her attention. The secret formula for interest…
The first step is making sure they have an incentive for having the conversation with you. If you’re extremely hot, this is a no brainer. But if you aren’t sure where you stand, then polishing your sense of humor, bolstering your confidence, and understanding where their interests lie BEFORE you get their number are all absolutely key.
The second step is adding an element of risk. If you read their every text immediately and respond within seconds, it won’t be long before they take you for granted — and that’s when the ghosting happens. Make sure you’re taking time to live your own life instead of waiting for their next text to arrive.
Struggling to meet “The One”? When it comes to dating, there’s only one trait that’s at the top of every girl’s list…confidence. Whether you’re approaching her for the first time or giving her a kiss.
Confidence is almost always the difference between painful rejection and sweet success. Thing is…most people don’t realize how easy it can be to create rock solid confidence in yourself. Done right, you’ll never spend another day doubting yourself or getting in your own way the next time you ask for a week off, or that pay raise.
We’ve put together a free MASTERCLASS series on how anyone can go from self-conscious to irresistibly confident. Of course it isn’t for everyone…
If you aren’t the type of person that’s willing to put a little work and time into themselves…and still expects big results, then this probably isn’t a good fit for you. But if you’re ready to start making some big changes: