There’s only one trait you absolutely NEED to have… Without it, relationships fall apart, betrayals happen, and hearts get broken. Every time.
Today, you’ll learn what every romantic couple needs to make it work…
If you’re unhappy with your dating life right now, this will make a huge difference to you. We want to improve your dating life, advice like this matters.
I mean let’s face it. You see it all the time. How many times have you heard the phrase “high school sweethearts” and been really impressed? Culturally, we believe romance, especially young romance is doomed to fail. No one stays together that long! The odds are against you!
So maybe the real question…is how do you identify the right romantic partner?
How can you tell they’re the one?
Or at least the one survives past the first date?
Traditionally, we look to attraction. On it surface, it makes perfect sense. If we’re really attracted to them today, we’ll probably be really attracted to them tomorrow. Just how much razzle, dazzle, and pop do we have?
- How good looking are they?
- Do we have things in common?
- How is the sex?
- Are they in good shape?
Only one…BIG problem. None of these things have ANYTHING to do with whether or not you and your partner go the distance. According to research, these factors don’t really affect how long you last as a couple. After all, looks fade. It’s easier to gain weight as you get older. Sex, yes even sex, can get boring.
So if appearances don’t count…does it all come down to personality? Is the childhood advice you got from your mom accurate after all?
Research has shown that the cornerstone of any successful relationship…is dorky sounding. It’s called relational self-awareness. And it’s the one trait that’s definitely not showing up on anyone’s Tinder profile.
People who are relationally self aware have the unique ability to look at the relationship and see how they affect it – for better or for worse. They can understand how – what they do has an impact on their partner’s happiness.
It sounds simple. But true relational self awareness is harder than most people think. See the people with this magic trait…behave in a very peculiar way:
- They can effectively see inside themselves and name exactly what they’re feeling.
- When they go back to what went wrong in a relationship, they try to find answers within themselves. Like, “what did I do wrong?”, or “what did I miss”?
- They can talk about their past relationships and how they’re presently working on their relationships.
- They’re mature enough to catch when they’re being defensive or try to run away when they’re being given feedback about them.
In short: they don’t let their egos get in the way.
They’ve matured when it comes to relationships and they’ve stopped blaming others when things fail. So, if you are really thinking about a long-term relationship with someone, this is the ONE box you absolutely need to check. Being relationally aware means you’re mature enough to talk things out with your partner when things go bad (and to not be a dick about it).
It’s easy to see why so many successful couples rely on it. A lasting loving relationship happens when you choose someone that will stand by your side through thick and thin. Someone who will actively HELP YOU find a solution to the problem both are facing. …Rather than treating it like it’s completely your fault and giving you an ultimatum.
There are a couple easy tests to check your date’s relational self awareness.
1. How do they react to stress?
The waiter charged for a steak they didn’t order,
A guy bumped into them and spilled wine on their good shoes
The Decepticons decided to wreck town that night…
The way we react to these types of situations tells a lot of what’s within.
Stressful situations have the unique effect of showing the world the best and worst parts of who we are. So check on how your partner reacts to awkward or irritating events.
When things go sideways, people always respond in one of 3 ways:
- Fighting back
- Studying the situation
The third option is the way a person with self-awareness would behave.
If somebody cuts you off in traffic unexpectedly, almost causing an accident, see if you partner handles the situation with care, or if they throw a fit. Once you’ve seen them react…you’ll have your answer.
Someone who isn’t relationally self-aware will, more often than not, let their emotions run the show.
Instead of someone who is going to knuckle up for a fight, you want someone who is going to try and see things from the other side. Maybe the other driver was distracted by the sun, or trying to watch their kid when the careless event happened.
2. Pay attention to how they talk about past relationships
When they talk about their past relationships most people put themselves in the victim’s role.
Individuals who are self-aware talk about their past romantic relationships in terms of context (“it was not the best time for us”), generosity of intention (“he/she was getting hurt”), and a focus on growth (“I learned a lot from that relationship”).
Learned something today? Good. Take it with you and improve your dating life with this advice.
Struggling to meet “The One”?
When it comes to dating, there’s only one trait that’s at the top of every girl’s list…CONFIDENCE.
Whether you’re approaching her for the first time or giving her a kiss
Confidence is almost always the difference between painful rejection and sweet success.
Thing is…most people don’t realize how easy it can be to create rock solid confidence in yourself.
Done right, you’ll never spend another day doubting yourself or getting in your own way the next time you ask for a week off, or that pay raise.
We’ve put together a free MASTERCLASS series on how anyone can go from self conscious to irresistibly confident.
Of course it isn’t for everyone…
If you aren’t the type of person to put in the work or time…and still expect results.
This probably isn’t a good fit for either of us.
But if you’re ready to start making some changes..
Til next time…