Everybody wishes that they had better friends. So what’s the trick?
Well it starts by BEING a better friend.
I know… Difficult, right?
If only there were something that could be done. A magic bullet that when pressed, it improved your quality of friendships in your life and made you feel more connected and influential.
Like a hack…Or a series of hacks… That would be nice, right?
BOOM! Psych Hacker Steven here bringing you 5 really simple hacks that you can start using TODAY to do exactly that!
1. Focus on having better friendships with fewer people.
What? Fewer people?! YES! Imagine being stuck on an island with 11 people for a year… At the end of that year, how CLOSE would you feel to those people?
You would practically be FAMILY! Sure you would probably hate them… but you’d hate them like family! You’d hate them because you loved them! They would genuinely make you feel happier being around them. Now imagine that you are stuck on an island with a thousand people…
If you didn’t put the effort in to meeting a few of them and developing those relationships then you may end up feeling more isolated than anything else. Definitely more isolated than you would feel by focusing on a smaller group of people.
In fact, according to research by Evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa of the London School of Economics and Norman Li of Singapore Management University, people have a higher sense of life-satisfaction when they live less densely populated areas. It was also found that they had a higher sense of life satisfaction when they spent more time with close friends.
Just furthering the point of how key it is to focus on closer friendships with fewer people.
2. Don’t kill your large social circle.
Now, just because you’re focusing your attention on your close friends, doesn’t mean you should kill the relationships that you have outside of them.
In fact, by developing them in the right way, you can improve the opportunities that you can offer to your close friends and make new connections with better friends (And possibly even romantic friends)! If you kill off your plan of developing a large social circle all together, then you miss out on those new connection opportunities and all of the benefits that come with them. But developing a social circle can seem overwhelming if you don’t know simple ways to make them work.
So here’s Psych Hacker Steven’s simple technique to make growing a larger social circle as simple as possible:
First, you should join several groups. Have your close friends join them with you to improve your relationships with them at the same time!
Second, find events or activities outside of the group that you can invite everyone to.
By suggesting the event and leading the group to a decision, your value in the group will increase providing you more opportunities as those people reciprocate that value you’ve offered. Basically, as you invite them out to new activities, they will invite you out to more activities.
The more friends, the more opportunities!
3. Reminders in your phone in advance of events to get gifts or prep for it.
Facebook does a good job to tell you the day of when it’s somebody’s birthday. But it doesn’t give you any warning about it so that you can actually plan something.
You see, remembering a special day like a birthday or anniversary for someone goes a long way to demonstrate how important they are in your life. Wishing someone a happy birthday is fine, but it doesn’t show them how much you care.
Now this hack should ONLY be reserved for that very small group of close friends. But by setting a reminder in your phone a week or so before the actual birthday or anniversary gives you time to plan something for it or purchase gifts to demonstrate their importance.
Later on in this article you’ll learn exactly why this is so important.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask your close friends for help
So this little hack is actually really cool.
A psychological phenomenon known as the Ben Franklin effect states that a person who does you a favor will like you more than if they hadn’t done you a favor according to research done by psychological researchers John Jecker and David Landy.
This means that by reaching out and asking for help, you’re actually building stronger relationships. So instead of JUST focusing on giving gifts to your friends and offering to help them, make sure that you also reach out to ask them for help as well.
Your relationships will blossom as a result and you’ll finally get those chores done that you’ve been putting off for so long. It’s a win-win!
5. Trigger reciprocity.
Whether you’re remembering gifts for birthdays or you’re taking your friends out with you to events or on adventures… You’re building bonds and relationships that will last.
Through the power of reciprocity.
The need and desire to return the favors and affection felt toward us. The more that you can trigger reciprocity, the more affection and bond that you can create with another person.
Try offering a round of drinks to your close friends. You’ll either get free drinks the rest of the night… Or they may try to return the favor in other ways!
As you give each of these hacks a try, keep this in mind:
Relationships are a balance of give and take.
Receiving help from your friends builds a close bond. But if you just take their help… and you take more… and more… You can actually quickly burn that relationship out.
But the same goes for giving too much.
By refusing the help and favors offered by your friends, you can actually create a sense of guilt that they feel being around you instead of a sense of bond.
So give each of these a try and